September 6, 2005

• Through a wide smile, and shinning eyes she said to me: "What's meant
  to happen will happen, right? It will all work itself out in the end."
  And though those words stilled me because of the pain I knew to be
  hidden in their assumption, I couldn’t bring myself to end her hope, so
  I said nothing.

  But the next night, through a broken voice, and tear streamed eyes she
  said to me: "I thought it would be easy, I though whatever was meant to
  happen would happen, but everything is hard, everything I can do is
  hard." And I held her more tightly and said through tears of my own:
  "I’m sorry. I should have told you. Things will work out for good in
  the end, but that end is often far, far away. For now, we just have to
  do what’s right: it's all we can do."

  So we broke up. She is going to tell Rob what happened. She'll go back
  to Rob if he'll take her. She broke up with him for me, despite all the
  excuses we chose to believe instead. It wasn't right. What should have
  happened was what we decided when we were still just holding hands
  during a scary movie: that she needed to be honest with Rob, and that
  we needed to end things. It's a million times harder now. We love each
  other now.

  I made her a promise though. I told her I would never let anything
  happen between us again unless it was right. And I didn't make it
  lightly. My friends, I would ask you for guidance on this point. For
  both our sakes I need to make anything from now on be right.

  • 10:42 am
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