April 15, 2004

  • Forgive me if the coherence level is down on this one. I haven't slept in enough hours to make a difference. Shannon was making fun of my paper for it. Anyway, I was inspired to write this yesterday, while I was reading Missina's xanga, but I figured I was supposed to be writing a paper, so I didn't do it. Umm, sorry, the tired thing, I'll just get on with it.


    It's a simply song, simple. For me, it is forever attached to the darkest, and yet least dark night of my life. God had been working on me for a while. Several times, I was close to giving into him, but I was stubborn. Hey, I even quit smoking cigarettes. It seemed to me that God was everywhere for that last few weeks. Haha, I know this one was a miracle: he had me entranced my Christian Indy rap. He did show me miracles though, and I most certainly believed they were form him. But I was resisting. I suppose you might ask why. I'd love to give you the answer I've given in a hundred testimonies. Tell you that I cared to much about my life, I didn't want to give up drugs. And, though those things might be true, it's not the whole story. I don't know why I resisted so hard. To this day all I can think is that it was a spiritual battle, a hard one. And I suppose if it was I played for both teams, or maybe both teams played me, either way.


    It all came to a climax one November’s eve, only a couple days after Halloween. It was a fight: a brawl; Fists were flying. I think of Israel. Fighting the Angel of God, winning at times. Until God, letting go of a little bit of his restraint, broke the rib of this man. I spouse this is how I felt. I was fighting all night, until it was over. I collapsed. I gave in. God won. I was sleeping in minutes. I woke to sun streaming into the lone window in the basement I was sleeping in. I was overjoyed. I cannot describe the feeling of that moment, so I suppose I will not try. The first thing that came to my mind, the only thing I could think of, was this song. So I sang it, to God, and from the deepest part of me.


    I love you lord,
    And I lift my voice
    To worship you.
    Oh my soul, Rejoice.
    Take joy, my King,
    In what you hear.
    May is be a sweet, sweet sound,
    In your ear.

Comments (4)

  • wow that was powerful aron. and that song has spoken volumes for me as well. happy that you got your paper done, have a good nap...see you later.

  • I wasn't "making fun" of your paper for it... I was umm... laughing WITH you.  You laughed too remember.  I simply pointed out a few things that were laughable. The content wasn't so bad though.  I mean... you got your ideas across even if the structure wasn't as... coherent... as you may have wanted it to be.

  • aww that's excellent.. i guess now i dont hafta ask :) thanks for sharing..

  • thats awesome. I love that song. i remember once five years ago singing it in teh silence of a room as i tried to work through things. thanks for sharing through your story about where God has been taking you. the fight with God...what is such an awesome analogy.

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